A recommended practice for anyone exhausted by the effort of relaxing.
Modern life is exhausting. Every morning and all through the day we are assailed by emails, notifications, mindfulness meditation, yoga positions, herbal teas, journalling and scented candles.
If this sounds like your typical day, read on, because at Schplendid we’ve discovered an ancient practice that can transform your life.
It is called doing bugger all.
The technique
Pay careful attention to the following instructions. Beginners often struggle at first and find themselves inadvertently doing something. But practice makes perfect.
Step 1 – Sit down.
Step 2 – Remain sitting down.
Try not to be aware of your breathing, nor to feel at one with the universe, nor to practise gratitude.
If you find yourself accidentally achieving anything, start again.
Origins
Doing bugger all has deep roots.
The Italians call it il dolce far niente(literally, the sweetness of doing nothing – though we prefer the more elegant ‘doing bugger all’.)
Robert Louis Stevenson wrote an entire essay called An Apology for Idlers. Jerome K. Jerome observed: “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
An ancient saying, lost in the mists of time, supplies perhaps the definitive guide: “Sometimes I sits and thinks and then again I just sits.”
The second part is generally considered the more advanced technique.
William Holman Hunt's Il Dolce far Niente (Italian for 'doing bugger all' (1859. Public domain.)
Advanced practice
Once you have mastered basic sitting, you might progress to:
staring out of the window
staring at the fire
staring at nothing in particular
making a cup of tea and forgetting about it
thinking about getting up and then not getting up.
Remember not to record your streak. (Beginners often make this mistake).
The Ancient Art of Doing Bugger All
A recommended practice for anyone exhausted by the effort of relaxing.
Modern life is exhausting. Every morning and all through the day we are assailed by emails, notifications, mindfulness meditation, yoga positions, herbal teas, journalling and scented candles.
If this sounds like your typical day, read on, because at Schplendid we’ve discovered an ancient practice that can transform your life.
It is called doing bugger all.
The technique
Pay careful attention to the following instructions. Beginners often struggle at first and find themselves inadvertently doing something. But practice makes perfect.
Step 1 – Sit down.
Step 2 – Remain sitting down.
Try not to be aware of your breathing, nor to feel at one with the universe, nor to practise gratitude.
If you find yourself accidentally achieving anything, start again.
Origins
Doing bugger all has deep roots.
The Italians call it il dolce far niente (literally, the sweetness of doing nothing – though we prefer the more elegant ‘doing bugger all’.)
Robert Louis Stevenson wrote an entire essay called An Apology for Idlers. Jerome K. Jerome observed: “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
An ancient saying, lost in the mists of time, supplies perhaps the definitive guide: “Sometimes I sits and thinks and then again I just sits.”
The second part is generally considered the more advanced technique.
Advanced practice
Once you have mastered basic sitting, you might progress to:
staring out of the window
staring at the fire
staring at nothing in particular
making a cup of tea and forgetting about it
thinking about getting up and then not getting up.
Remember not to record your streak. (Beginners often make this mistake).
Choosing your equipment
Doing bugger all successfully does require some specialist sofa equipment. The basics are solid beech frames, eight-way hand-tied coil springs, layers of coconut husk and wool, and cushions filled with enormous quantities of soft goose down.
Under no circumstances should you attempt to do bugger all with lower grade equipment.
You may begin.
Picture top: Nonchaloir (Repose) (1911) by John Singer Sargent. Public domain.